Speedy.site: Our most unfair review of their wonky optimization services.

WordPress Mobile Speed

Updated


There are no affiliate links on PagePipe.

Speedy.site is a site for speed services. Buyer beware.

Interesting offer. But a little mysterious to us. They have a money-back guarantee to get “greens” in Core Web Vitals. Or “If the changes we implement and recommend don’t achieve all Good Core Web Vitals receive a full refund!”

That smells fishy. Marketing weasel words. Trendy and faddish. Wait? What is this fine print?

Speedy.site PAYMENT TERMS

2. Client acknowledges that no refunds are available once work has commenced on the Project and additional requests for refunds will require Management review.


3. If the changes Speedy.Site both implements and recommends don’t result in Good Core Web Vitals on either Mobile or Desktop the client can request and be entitled to a full refund.


So which is it #2 (no refunds) or #3 (yes refunds)? If Core Web Vitals improve on desktop is that good enough? Dang lawyer lingo. We’re confused.

And this one:
CLIENT OBLIGATIONS
The Customer agrees Speedy.Site has the right to make changes to or update a Customer’s website. The Customer, as the website owner, agrees to and takes full responsibility for those changes being made.

LIMITATION OF LIABILITY:
Client hereby agrees that the responsibility to check the performance, accuracy and quality of any web pages optimized by Speedy.site rests solely with them.

So who is responsible? The client?

But wait: Client acknowledges said content and technology is protected by Canadian and international intellectual property laws. NOTE: Specifically the laws of the province of Ontario, Canada. Finally, a clue where these guys are located. But who the heck are they? So we guess they aren’t neighbors to Jon Dykstra since they’re 2,664 km away (1,655 miles).

So maybe their testimonials page will give us some clues about who they are. Oops. Guess not. The testimonials page isn’t working so hot. 521 error Web server is down. Hmm? We’ve seen that a lot with Cloudflare CDN. Annoying.

Their phone country code is #8. That is ANGUILLA, a vulnerable island in the Caribbean Sea. A beach vacation spot for tourists and celebrities. It’s east of Puerto Rico. The island is most known for snorkeling with colorful tropical fish. Visitors are allowed to stay one month. Is this real – or just a virtual assistant service? We suspect it’s an offshore receptionist answering phone calls. Do those exist? Yes. A bunch. Why? Because Anguilla is an English-speaking country. You can get an Anguillian phone number activated within 30 minutes with a credit card.

Credibility isn’t going up, is it?

Speedy.site is not registered with WHOIS domain directory. That’s odd.

No whois information found. We are not the registrar of record for this domain name.

WHOIS was standardized in the early 1980s to look up domains, people, and other resources

Very odd. There’s a New York 2020-built website hosted on Unified Layer about SEO services. It has the same island phone number and even using the same theme as http://infotrum.com/ Uh. OK. Confess Speedy.site. Is this version number two? You’re confusing us with a secret identity. Who are you guys? Is this a rebranding?

Speedy.site’s promise sounds too good to be true. Remember what your mother said about amazing promises! It’s fishy, sort-of-like a bait-and-switch tactic. It’s exactly like what you dreamed of last night. Do we wonder? Is this virtuous promise as vague as a dream?

Are they doing real speed work? Or use some kind of trick? You may not see an improvement in site load time. No guarantee.

PagePipe puts in too much work to give a full refund for site tuning. We give a 50-percent refund. We’ve never had to do a refund. — Knock on wood. — But we imagine we will someday. By the time our performance report is done, we’ve earned it. We examine how healthy and future-proof a site is.

PAGEPIPE’S RANKING DISCLAIMER
“… you acknowledge that PagePipe.com neither owns nor governs the actions of any search engine. You also acknowledge that due to fluctuations in the relative competitiveness of some search terms, recurring changes in the search engine algorithms, and other competitive factors, it is impossible to guarantee number one rankings or consistent top ten rankings, or any other specific rankings for any particular search term.”

PagePipe sells improved user experience UX, not SEO hucksterism.

We don’t presume core web vitals is a measurement of user experience. Especially because Google said so. They change their web tune frequently. This may be a Trojan horse for Google to roll out something else secretly. Have we ever seen something like this happen? Oh, yeah. When WordPress had a quick update to add Emojis (slow), it was to conceal a major security flaw and bug fix. How do we know? The engineer’s testimonial is on YouTube in a seminar he taught. No one noticed. No public embarrassment.

REFERENCE: https://pagepipe.com/how-to-eliminate-deadweight-emojis-in-wordpress/

Speedy.site is expecting a panic stampede during the pending “crisis” from Google algorithm changes. They may not be online in 6 months. We’ve taken a conservative wait-and-see attitude. We’ve heard Google cry wolf too many times about how speed might affect rankings — only to never see them materialize. Here is our stance at present:

REFERENCE: https://pagepipe.com/web-panic-about-google-core-web-vitals-baloney/

NOTE: Andrew Nacin walks step by step through how a critical security vulnerability was discovered in WordPress core code and then patched using emoji as a Trojan horse in WordPress 4.2.

We never advocate speed alters SEO directly. Because it has a very small effect if any. Like a half-percent improvement in ranking.

Google’s claim: “We will introduce a new signal that combines Core Web Vitals with our existing signals for page experience to provide a holistic picture of the quality of a user’s experience on a web page.” They presently have 200 signals. They are adding one to three more. How much difference do you think that little extra will make?

Google says, “sites generally should not expect drastic changes.”

We trust Google so much. We accept their press leaks as absolute truth.

REFERENCE: https://pagepipe.com/ignore-googles-200-seo-signals-including-speed-learn-writing-skills-for-good-page-ranking/

Speedy.site standard service is nothing to write home about. Minifying JS and CSS can also get them into trouble. We know from experience that minifying JavaScript breaks all Amazon affiliate links. Concatenation is a standard recommendation on most online speed tests.

REFERENCE: https://pagepipe.com/concatenation-is-the-site-killer-not-minification/

Their ‘custom’ service isn’t much better but they do offer to convert a page builder to Gutenberg which is on the right track. We are now teaching these “ZERObuilder” speed principles. It is a work in progress: https://blockclones.com/

I was surprised to see Jon Dykstra giving a testimonial for the service because I believe he is a fan of yours.

Jon likes our generosity.
His testimonial on their site is pretty weak. What is a decent job? Certainly not a 15 to 20 point improvement on a vaporous score. He probably won’t admit that the final score was 30 total. :)

“I tried Speedy.Site on one site. They did a decent job. My page speed score improved 15 to 20 points on Mobile.” — Jon’s testimonial.

Jon Dykstra lives in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. He is a successful blogger.

If they were really good, Jon would have rolled their service out on all his sites. He didn’t do that as far as we know. He’s not that stupid.

Is a 15 to 20 point improvement on mobile good? Good compared to what? That isn’t a speed measurement. It’s an abstract ivory-tower score.

We suspect Jon Dykstra’s been going to remedial speed night school.

What surprised us is after Jon hired these guys, he picked our brains, bought all our books. He then went to WPJohnny.com, took his course, and picked his brains, too.

Then Jon published a “speed module” in his online course. We’re a little stunned by this behavior since Jon disdains ripoffs. Would we do something like that to reduce our learning curve? Probably. It’s smart. But we call it what it is: industrial espionage. No pretense.

We like Jon. He’s a smart guy.

Many sites working on the fear of a Google Core Web Vitals update. Even Jon Dykstra touted fear in a recent email newsletter promoting his new speed course. That is why we published this:

REFERENCE: https://pagepipe.com/speed-testing-scams/

A potential panic is about to occur. But Google is going to stall. They always do. Hedging their bets. Caution. They can’t afford to tick off their biggest advertising clients.

Speed.site offers a quotation for the following custom work:

1. Page builder to Gutenberg conversion
This is no easy task and could cost thousands of dollars. Learn how to do it for free here: https://BlockClones.com/

2. HTML, JS and CSS minification
You can do this with a free Autoptimize plugin.

REFERENCE: https://pagepipe.com/plugins-autoptimize-eliminates-for-speed/

3. Optimized for serving ads
What? We don’t believe it? Advertising originates from uncontrollable and non-cacheable third-party servers.

4. Advanced Image Compression
You can do this with free plugins also. https://pagepipe-ebooks.com/crush-me-whats-wrong-with-wp-smush-image-optimization-plugin/

5. Custom YouTube video optimization
Again various ways to do this but the best are free plugins.

REFERENCE: https://pagepipe.com/lazy-load-youtube-video-for-mobile-speed/

6. CDN Configuration Check & Fix
We don’t recommend CDNs — ever. We do site origin optimization.
Speedy.site hosts on Cloudflare. Bad sign.

REFERENCE: https://pagepipe.com/cloudflare-doesnt-guarantee-consistent-load-times/

7. Defer Javascript parsing
This is a ludicrous thing to chase. WordPress often uses JavaScript, Ajax, and other script libraries. Fiddling with these things breaks stuff.

8. One-month core web vital status monitoring
Really? Why? Big deal.

Godspeed-

Steve Teare
performance engineer
July 2021

 

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